Post 10 Exhibit 1-The Wrong Call, narrative

Before I wrote my narrative draft, we read Growing Up, Throwing Up in class. This piece helped me understand how to write a narrative. I had a good time writing my paper for this assignment. I had to pick a childhood memory and tell the story.I did not quite know which memory I wanted to use. Then I remembered when I had gotten in trouble in 5th grade. The idea came to me very quickly. Ever since the event happened it always has stayed in my memory. Writing the paper was not that difficult either because the story was very vivid in my head. I thought that the flow might need work. That is one of the areas I wanted feedback on. I finished it so quickly after I had gotten started. 

The easiest parts of writing it was adding supporting details and dialogue. I feel that I also could have used more transitions. Organization is also an area that I thought I might need help with. I feel as though I could have added more dialogue to the paper. This was one of my main fixes on my revision.

The peer editing process really helped me understand where I went wrong with my paper. I at first thought that there was not anything wrong with my paper. Having one of my peers help point out errors and where I could make fixes really helped me understand. I learned that I needed to add in transitions, dialogue and verbs. from reading others papers I learned that it is easy to make mistakes. My writing was not that bad and my peers were similar in what they needed to work on. Adding in a couple of anecdotes would have really brought it all together. I learned that the structure was done very well but adding in dialogue was a main issue.

I added a few parts of dialogue and made the flow and structure of the overall paper better. I ordered all of the events properly and made sure it all made sense. I am pretty happy with the overall outcome of the paper. Since I had finished the paper quickly and thought it was perfect, I am finally happy it is. It now flows very well and is easy to understand. I hope that whoever reads the piece can feel that I wrote it. I have kept that a secret for all of the school years I have been through and I wanted people to finally know what happened. I learned more about the story when writing the paper, more than I thought I remembered. I learned to not worry about the order of the rough draft. anything can be fixed in the final draft. As choppy as my first draft was, I finally had fixed it and made it into my favorite story.

 Fifth grade was one of my favorite years of school. Waking up in the spring at 7am is usually not too bad for me. The smells and brightness make it beautiful. This day however, was a Monday morning. I had awakened to my mother yelling for me to get up. I was tired from hanging out with my brother the night before. I looked outside my bedroom window and saw dark clouds and rain. The outlook on the day started out gloomy.I finally got ready and got on the bus. I hated taking the bus because I was always picked up first and dropped off last. I almost spent as much time on the bus as the driver. I didn't really have many friends on my bus either. I got to school and walked to my class. My teacher was nice but she was corny and boring. I thought we would have our usual boring lessons that I couldn't stand. I like to be interactive in class and use my hands. It all seemed like it was a regular day.

The class next to me had a few of my friends in it but we didn't really get to talk during our subject lessons. Sam was a friend of a friend who I had gotten to like after hanging out with him often. We were both huge Star Wars fans. He had the coolest book about the weapons, vehicles and characters. Andrew was our in between friend that helped us meet. He was in my class so we talked a lot. My teacher told us our plan for the day was to mix with another class and share projects. While we were waiting around in my classroom, Sam walked in with his class. I was happy because now Andrew, Sam and I could talk and relax. We were standing over in the corner while everyone was talking to each other. Sam was always a sneakin and convincing person. Out of the blue, he had dared me to do something I had never thought of doing. It blanked on me that this could get me in trouble. I felt like it didnt matter and wasn't a big deal. He dared me to call 911. I thought that it was a stupid thing to ask. I saw that the phone was on the hook so I moved it slightly. I wanted it to look like the call was being made but not actually work. I pressed the 3 numbers softly making sure he saw me. I can still hear him ask me “Did you call?” I replied “ Of course I called. Didn't you see me Andrew?” Andrew stood there with a blank, weird look on his face. He then pointed out to me that the phone was working and the call went through. That is when I started to get nervous. They both started laughing at me which is then when I asked my teacher if i could use the restroom. She being a teacher had to reply with “ I don't know, can you?” Being in a rush to get out the classroom, I asked if I may go and left. My friends decided to follow me into the bathroom to stress me out. I saw my other friend, Dave, in the bathroom and explained the mishap to him. He found it funny but helped calm me down. He said “Don’t worry about it. You are not going to get into trouble.” After I reassured myself I would be ok, I walked back to the room. That is when I heard my teacher say “ Did someone call 911?” I never knew that the phone line had to go through Bay Trail before the call was finished. I knew it was all over after that.

The last thing I remember after those words was being in the principal’s office. I had not really ever been there so I didn't know what to expect. I waited for him to give me bad news but was pleasantly surprised. He said that it wouldn't go on my “permanent record”. Those words had scared me before and I was in shock. I sat in the chair and smiled up at him. He had then dropped a bomb on me. He said that I would be suspended. I thought “Oh no my parents are gonna be so mad”. When I got home, they said “ What’s wrong with you?!” After a long explanation, they finally understood that it wasn't such a big deal. One day was not as bad of a suspension I thought it would be. I got to lay in bed all day. Me and my dogs watched my favorite TV shows. I had a great day and got to see my friends the next day. They were all jealous and wanted to see what it was like. I thought I had created a group of monster and devious 5th graders. I could never look my teacher in the eyes again. I always felt like he had a built up hatred for me. I couldn't have cared less because she was a terrible person. She would always criticize my writing and tore me apart in my notebooks. I will never forget my 5th grade memory. It has stuck with me all my life and has been a great story to tell.